I maintain a database of 6,137 video games. Not for fun, exactly. It powers a small web tool I built after one too many Friday nights where four adults with jobs and functioning brains could not settle on a single game in under forty minutes.
Working on that database changed my mind about what the problem actually is.
I used to think we argued because the overlap was too small. One of us is on PlayStation, one has a laptop that struggles with anything newer than 2019, so surely there was almost nothing we could all run. Wrong. Of my 6,137 rows, 1,345 are multiplayer, and hundreds of those run on basically everything. Supply was never the issue. Steam alone ships well over ten thousand new titles a year, and the pace is not slowing down.
So the real problem is abundance. Psychologists call it overchoice, the well documented tendency to pick nothing when the menu gets too long. What I rarely see mentioned is how much worse it gets when the choice is shared. Alone, you scroll for a bit, shrug, and start something. In a group of four, every suggestion is a small social event. Naming a game means owning the outcome. If it turns out boring, that was your pick. So people go quiet, or they float safe options that nobody hates and nobody wants, and forty minutes later you are all back in the same game you have been playing since 2021.
The data makes it worse, too. “Do we all own it” and “can we actually play it together” are different questions, and the second one depends on which platforms are in the room, not on the game alone. Crossplay between PC and Xbox tells you nothing about PS5 and Switch. Store pages stay cheerfully vague about this. I spend a genuinely stupid amount of my week correcting records where the official answer was missing or just wrong.
What fixed game night for my group was not more information. It was hiding most of it. Shrink the list to games everyone can run, have people vote yes or no privately so nobody vetoes a friend’s pick out loud, and only then start talking. I ended up building that flow into PickThe.Games, and you can poke at the swiping part without an account if you are curious. Though you could get most of the benefit with a spreadsheet and some honesty, honestly. The arguing was never really about games. It was about nobody wanting to be the one who chose wrong.
